I wish we could speak the richest language in this world so that I could tell you how much you mean to me... Now I have to put wings to the words to fly them higher or deeper than they actually can ever do.
No no... this is NOT another boring love letter that any boring shallow girl can write to a loved one. This is just a rain drop to wet my lips before I start to move my mouth to talk about you... You... My magnificent self. The reflection of me and my dreams. You... Tu... Sen...
You are my missing years... my teen energy... my wasted dreams, thrown away, cast away, far away...
Your enigmatic smile invaded my eyes with a victory gained unintentionally. You conquered my existence, got a life inside me, blossomed like a little primrose. You were dead before I discovered your distant self. Remember you did not have a heart to live, lungs to inhale, any tears to cry...
I don't love you at all! In the first place I made you alive, I created your self in the castles of my imagination. I lighted the candles in your jewish-asian eyes to give me pain in the most masochist way. Yes I created you to give me pain... Ignore me to the fullest with all your neglected heart!.. Please do it more. This is what I need: pain of you.
I will keep on desiring you with passion, love and hate as I did for hundred years. Because your hate is like a poison ivy feeding my love to death. My love is reborn every time you look at me pointlessly, unexpectedly, unpredictably... No wonder you enjoy so much mesmerising me and looking at my puzzled face for a while. I am puzzled with looking at my reflection on the lake! I see myself not you. My pearl... my beauty spot... good bye...
25 Nisan 2010 Pazar
11 Nisan 2010 Pazar
Facebook Embarrassment
Once upon a time, I used to use facebook for my evil plans to check the facebook page of my ex-boyfriend who's younger than me and who were somehow triggering my jealousy in an obsession level. It is time to confess so that it can be inspiring for other obsessed copy cats.
This idea seriously woke up the little devil who has been living inside me, my zombified self! Here is my evil plan:
Firstly, I openned a fake facebook account and put up a sexy (but not porn-like)profile picture of a latina chica. Then I started to add his friends one by one to have friends in common. If I can have friends in common he wouldn't get suspicious about this unknown girl and would add her without hesitation. I joined some groups, night club pages so that more people could add me by the time. I needed my fake account to look as natural as possible. Then, I turned this latina chica to a good-looking hot man's facebook account. I changed the profile picture and name. I put a former Mr.Turkey's pictures (somehow I managed to find his daily pictures not professional ones) and started to send friend requests to his female friends. They were so cool with adding a random guy on facebook though... The plan worked.
Then I turned it to the hot girl's account again (I was in psychosis now with a split personality!) And finally added my dear victim poor boyfriend. Time to lie in ambush :) He then accepted my friend request from this unknown girl who has 18 friends in common! Goddammit! The victory invaded my jealous self!!! He is a bastard adding random hot girls on a social networking site for God knows what!
Well he deleted this fake friend few times by guessing it was me messing with his account afterwards. I promised him not to act like a teenager(!) anymore, apologised him, deleted this account blah blah blah...
As Gaga says: "Trust is like a mirror you can fix it but you can still see the crack on motherfucker reflection!"
Months later on his birthday I wanted to check his wall from my fake account to see if he is hiding anything from me. (I can't even remember the exact reason) Then I left my fake account logged in. Some time later wanted to wish happy birthday to him and wrote a nice poetry on his wall. Two minutes later I noticed that Mr.Turkey with his hot profile picture wrote these birthday wishes on his wall!!! Because I forgot to change the account to mine lol
What the fuck I was going to do now?!? Everything messed up like a spaghetti!!! I deleted them all. And wrote a simple happy birthday message from my own account. But I missed a fact that whatever the hell you write on facebook people receive an email notification.
On next day my man was being so sarcastic about my fake facebook accounts.
He said: "I thought you deleted this stupid account ages ago."
Me: "WHAT?"
He: "I got your birthday wishes thank you"
Me (still resisting): "What are you talking about?"
He smiled then we started to burst out laughing for hours... at the fun, embarrassment, passion, innocence and jealousy of this big hearted little girl living inside me...
This idea seriously woke up the little devil who has been living inside me, my zombified self! Here is my evil plan:
Firstly, I openned a fake facebook account and put up a sexy (but not porn-like)profile picture of a latina chica. Then I started to add his friends one by one to have friends in common. If I can have friends in common he wouldn't get suspicious about this unknown girl and would add her without hesitation. I joined some groups, night club pages so that more people could add me by the time. I needed my fake account to look as natural as possible. Then, I turned this latina chica to a good-looking hot man's facebook account. I changed the profile picture and name. I put a former Mr.Turkey's pictures (somehow I managed to find his daily pictures not professional ones) and started to send friend requests to his female friends. They were so cool with adding a random guy on facebook though... The plan worked.
Then I turned it to the hot girl's account again (I was in psychosis now with a split personality!) And finally added my dear victim poor boyfriend. Time to lie in ambush :) He then accepted my friend request from this unknown girl who has 18 friends in common! Goddammit! The victory invaded my jealous self!!! He is a bastard adding random hot girls on a social networking site for God knows what!
Well he deleted this fake friend few times by guessing it was me messing with his account afterwards. I promised him not to act like a teenager(!) anymore, apologised him, deleted this account blah blah blah...
As Gaga says: "Trust is like a mirror you can fix it but you can still see the crack on motherfucker reflection!"
Months later on his birthday I wanted to check his wall from my fake account to see if he is hiding anything from me. (I can't even remember the exact reason) Then I left my fake account logged in. Some time later wanted to wish happy birthday to him and wrote a nice poetry on his wall. Two minutes later I noticed that Mr.Turkey with his hot profile picture wrote these birthday wishes on his wall!!! Because I forgot to change the account to mine lol
What the fuck I was going to do now?!? Everything messed up like a spaghetti!!! I deleted them all. And wrote a simple happy birthday message from my own account. But I missed a fact that whatever the hell you write on facebook people receive an email notification.
On next day my man was being so sarcastic about my fake facebook accounts.
He said: "I thought you deleted this stupid account ages ago."
Me: "WHAT?"
He: "I got your birthday wishes thank you"
Me (still resisting): "What are you talking about?"
He smiled then we started to burst out laughing for hours... at the fun, embarrassment, passion, innocence and jealousy of this big hearted little girl living inside me...
"you deserve a cookie!"
I'm very good at sucking at speaking English sometimes... Luckily I'm a foreigner so that people in professional environments excuse my innocent comments :)
Here is an example:
Last day I told one of the managers at work "then you deserve a cookie!" to let him try nice candies from France as he told a colleague that the company made profit in the first quarter of the year!!!
People say "good boy, you deserve a cookie" to their dogs or little boys in this country NOT to their bosses!..
However I can interpret stupid things with a massive tolerance as a joke!
My colleague sent me an mail "i love u" in the middle of the day. I thought this was a Brit joke not to take seriously then I replied as "r u sure? i don't support Arsenal!". Well then it turn out to be someone used his account to mess with him. So what am I? Object of all jokes? Obviously, I work in a kindergarden!
Media world is a bit like this, cheesiness can be acceptable to a certain extent. Even sexist comments! An old school Brit journalist was on his way to up North with a freelance cameraman then he turned to me: "I wish you could come with us and I wish I was 20!!"
Such a pervert! I wish I could slap him on the spot but I didn't. He would have died with my Ottoman slap since he is too old...
Here is an example:
Last day I told one of the managers at work "then you deserve a cookie!" to let him try nice candies from France as he told a colleague that the company made profit in the first quarter of the year!!!
People say "good boy, you deserve a cookie" to their dogs or little boys in this country NOT to their bosses!..
However I can interpret stupid things with a massive tolerance as a joke!
My colleague sent me an mail "i love u" in the middle of the day. I thought this was a Brit joke not to take seriously then I replied as "r u sure? i don't support Arsenal!". Well then it turn out to be someone used his account to mess with him. So what am I? Object of all jokes? Obviously, I work in a kindergarden!
Media world is a bit like this, cheesiness can be acceptable to a certain extent. Even sexist comments! An old school Brit journalist was on his way to up North with a freelance cameraman then he turned to me: "I wish you could come with us and I wish I was 20!!"
Such a pervert! I wish I could slap him on the spot but I didn't. He would have died with my Ottoman slap since he is too old...
Back...
Well.. I decided to come back writing. Even though I sound horrifically bad in English writing, I won't give up! :) One day I'll be more entertaining in English I promise...
I'm changing the format of the blog (I chose this blog among five of my blogs swinging on the internet) and this will be a bit like a diary, quick posts, funny bits and pieces... Enjoy!
I'm changing the format of the blog (I chose this blog among five of my blogs swinging on the internet) and this will be a bit like a diary, quick posts, funny bits and pieces... Enjoy!
The Lost Identity
Something is missing on her face...
As if she will have no face when she removes the make-up... Water will not purify it anymore, will erase it instead. Her face is like porcelain. She will never go red; never feel embarrassed because it has been a long time since she lost her respect.
She lost her feminine voice, delicate smile, her womanly smell which is hidden behind Burberry’s. When I look at her claws, I hardly ever can see her natural pinkness of her nails which are dying under the nail extension.
Oh is it her hair that I caress or an e-bay user’s who sold it to her for ten pieces of fiver last night?
She has a top not a skirt anymore, with hills having no contact with the dance floor.
And her eyes... These eyes can see but can not look at you. They have the deepest look like a fire without a single real flame, freezing effect with no hail because she lost the soul inside her eyes...
All she need is looking and being sexy to as many as possible.
She is looking for something inside bottles of beer, glasses of wine, in bedrooms and under blankets...
She is looking for her identity which she lost ages ago.
“Women used to have time to make pies and had to fake orgasms. Now they can manage orgasms, but they have to fake the pies.
And they call this progress”... a progress without an identity.
As if she will have no face when she removes the make-up... Water will not purify it anymore, will erase it instead. Her face is like porcelain. She will never go red; never feel embarrassed because it has been a long time since she lost her respect.
She lost her feminine voice, delicate smile, her womanly smell which is hidden behind Burberry’s. When I look at her claws, I hardly ever can see her natural pinkness of her nails which are dying under the nail extension.
Oh is it her hair that I caress or an e-bay user’s who sold it to her for ten pieces of fiver last night?
She has a top not a skirt anymore, with hills having no contact with the dance floor.
And her eyes... These eyes can see but can not look at you. They have the deepest look like a fire without a single real flame, freezing effect with no hail because she lost the soul inside her eyes...
All she need is looking and being sexy to as many as possible.
She is looking for something inside bottles of beer, glasses of wine, in bedrooms and under blankets...
She is looking for her identity which she lost ages ago.
“Women used to have time to make pies and had to fake orgasms. Now they can manage orgasms, but they have to fake the pies.
And they call this progress”... a progress without an identity.
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